May 16th, 2011 was one of those days in our lives that defined a "before" and an "after". Before that day, my sister in law Linda was healthy, the light of our family, and basically our family "glue". We had just spent Easter with her out here in Arizona. Being from Chicago, she relished the sunshine. We had the time of our lives. She was in the most amazing place in her life that I had ever seen her. She had found the love of her life, and was looking forward to retiring...within a couple of years, and was even considering buying the house next door to us to retire in!! She wanted to create the "Baranowsky Compound"! What fun would THAT be!?!
The evening of the 16th, when I got a call from my other sister in law at 9:30 PM, I knew it could not be good news. She told us that Linda was in the hospital and may have had a small stroke.
An MRI and subsequent biopsy proved that she did not have a stroke. She had a form of brain cancer called Glioblastoma Stage 4. Because of the location of the cancer, there was no option for surgery. The cancer was found to be chemo resistant as well.
Linda decided that she would just live whatever life she had left. And she lived it to the fullest. Myself and my family spent a large part of the next 5 1/2 months in Chicago. Traveling back and forth from Phoenix to Chicago to spend every single moment with her that we could.
We did all the fun stuff we could muster! We went to the Zoo, the Aquarium, the park for daily walks, sailed on the tall ships, anything we could think of. And of course, Chicago style, we ate a LOT of fun food!!!
One day, my daughter Christy and I ventured downtown on the train. While in the train station, there was a group of gentlemen singing. They began to sing this song...
He's an on time God, yes, He is
He may not come when you want Him,
But He'll be there right on time.
I took a quick video of them singing and wrote down the lyrics. Linda had been asking God to take her home for quite some time. I knew that I had to share this with her.
She had little signs created and posted all over her house with positive sayings and scriptures. Things to inspire her. So, I created a sign that had these words on it and hung it where she could see it every day.
When I told her of the singing and showed her the sign, she said, "Yes he is. He's here with me all the time."
Even though it was the desire of her heart to go home to Jesus, she would pray and pray for the patience to graciously accept His journey for her.
She would think of things to pray about...and call us to her and ask us to pray for her. This was probably my greatest honor. Some of my other greatest moments with Linda were eating oatmeal in the morning with her, watching for Golden Finches in the trees as the leaves began to turn yellow. It was hard to tell which was which! "Spooning" with her in her hospital bed that was set up in the window of her home on the 2nd story. I called it her "tree house". Watching sunsets together laying on that bed, singing praise and worship songs with her, laughing with her right to the very end. More memories than one blog post could possibly hold. As she began to be pretty much non-responsive but at times a bit restless, I found that I could just sing over and over..."Jesus loves Linda, Jesus loves Linda, Jesus loves Linda, the bible tells me so." It would calm her.
He's An On Time God...YES HE IS!!!!!!!
Back to that thought!
On the plane ride home, after 5 1/2 months of Loving Linda, my mind swirled with more than it could possibly contain. The best plan I could come up with for getting back to whatever my "real" life was, was that I would come home and crawl in bed, pull the covers over my head and stay there for quite some time. I wasn't sure if I would come out for Thanksgiving....maybe Christmas. I just had too much to process. The idea didn't seem "healthy" (DUH! - Tee-Hee-Hee) but on that airplane, it was the best I could come up with.
Two days after I arrived home, I got a call from my friend Jenny. She asked me if I would help her with this event at her church. She said it involved some paper crafting and she wondered if I would be willing to help.
OH MY GOSH!!!!! She barely got the words out of her mouth and I was all over it!! YES! YES! YES! I don't have to go to bed for a month now!!! :)
As Linda was dying, she told me that she wanted to come back to me as inspiration in my art. Is that not awesome! That is the gift she wanted to give me and within two days of being home, I was certainly in need for some inspiration.
I don't know if Linda was "with me" during this time. What I DO KNOW is that she was with my every thought and breath at this time. I would be inspired by things that had birds in them. She LOVED birds. I would be inspired by certain colors. The ones she loved. One morning when I had not slept well, (like most since she's been gone) I woke up and said..."OK Linda....lets do this!" Out loud - not to myself - but to whatever may have been listening. It was a day I did not think I could get it "all" done, and I didn't, but I got LOTS of it done.
Is Linda with me in a way where she can see and hear me? I have no idea. But what I do know, is that Linda is with me in a way every single day that resides in my soul. In every inch of my being.
He's An On Time Go....Yes He IS!
Jenny was there 2 days after I got home with this amazing gift. The hours I spent creating and creating, and thinking, and 0K...a bit of shopping! :) Well, those were the hours that I began to process the loss of Linda. It was a kinder and gentler way to process the loss than to have just curled up in bed and stayed there. It was a productive way to process the loss. And I gotta tell you, I am not done. I am finding that out. This is going to take awhile.
So, the next thing I am going to do...is GO TO DISNEYLAND! YEP! My BFF, Pammie invited me along for a trip with her to Disneyland.
YEP!!!
He's An On Time God...YES HE IS!!!!!!!
